C Change too see change

To cut a long story short - we are heading home to Australia to live.

We had thought that we would take furlough for six months and return to Cambodia for August. All too quickly it became clear that this would not eventuate. I have cried a thousand tears and more. The decision was made some time ago when I was still unwell, but a line had to be drawn in the sand - so to speak. My health recovered slowly, all too slowly. Then all of a sudden it improved and recently the doctor cleared me to return to work. I guess that's the thing with illness, recovery is rarely linear and rarely predictable.

To be honest it was a devastating decision which my heart has fought. A decision I have delayed posting on our blog site. It seemed like we had just come into our own, really accepted not just in our heads but in our hearts, that we were staying for the next three years. Then whoosh and the carpet was ripped out from underneath us, and there was no sweeping our pain under the carpet.

So where does that leave us, on a jet plane to the Great South Land, unemployed and with a huge mortgage! You know we never pictured it this way, we assumed that God, who brought us here would one day take us home, going clearly ahead of us so we could resettle with employment assured and move onto His next phase for us. But where is the need to trust the Lord each day in a comfortable progression like that?

If, and when, we make it through the next six months, the next year, we will know that it is indeed because God has gone before us, not only so, but that he has taught us to walk by faith and not by sight. So watch out for us in the future because I am sure we will have quite a testimony to tell!

In the meantime, thank you for your support, all manner of support over the last three and a half years. This has certainly been an incredible journey and we praise God for all that He has taught us and the purposes He has fulfilled through us while we have been here in Cambodia. All we have learned could not fill a thousand blog pages and we know many years of reflection to come will continue to teach us things beyond our understanding yet.

Please pray for our family as we say farewell to Cambodia and transition to Australia. For employment for Graham and I and for a suitable school for Naomi and Nathan. I know that my heart has been forever changed and that Ministry and Mission, the lost and the impoverished, will always be a priority in my life. It has been exciting to observe God's work in Graham's life and those of Naomi and Nathan over the last three years. One things is for certain, the Brown Family who left Australia on July 20 2008 is a very different family to the one which will leave Cambodia on December 20 2011.We look forward to spending time with  family and friends upon our return and seeing the beautiful Australian landscape again.

So what can I finish with, no more or less than the word of God and an encouragement to fulfill his call. ( We can certainly recommend a fabulous school to work in!)

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28: 18-20

love Fiona

Hope School supports flood victims

There is a certain joy being involved in a school that serves the community.

As you may have heard, Cambodia is experiencing it's worst flood in a more than a decade.
" The worst floods in more than a decade have devastated large areas of Cambodia, causing 247 deaths, displacing 46,000 households and disrupting the lives of 1.5 million people. "
World Food Programme Oct 24 2011

One of our Hope Students had a vision (literally) of helping people in the province of Prey Veng. He announced to the school at the start of the week that he would collect food items up to Friday 3pm and take them to the province on the subsequent Saturday (15th Oct). He booked a boat and a vehicle and took the names of volunteers.

Without a single meeting held, the process began, families bought in a variety of products to be bagged into food parcels. Then on the Friday lunchtime, again without any planning, people started assisting with the packaging of the food items in the main hall. People drifted in to assist in unplanned shifts, a new array of people coming to replace those who had were leaving. This continued until 5:30pm when 386 bags had been completed! It looked like a lot, but was a pretty humbling figure when compared with the 13 800 families in prey Veng who needed food aid.

Each bag received a couple of kilos of rice, a milk product, two cans/sachets of fish, 15 packets of instant noodles, a hygiene product, 2 bottles of water, a cooking items such as soy sauce/oil/fish sauce and two snacks. There was also a simple note in each bag explaining the source of the parcels and the love of Jesus.

Naomi, Nathan and I each assisted with the packaging process. Nathan also went along on the Saturday to assist with food distribution.

So here is the story in pictures.
(You can click on an image to scroll through the images at a larger size.)

Sachets of sardines start to pile up

A collection of water bottles emerges

Stacks of other products start to form

Myself unpacking products

Naomi and Hannah unpack soy sauce

Naomi and Ain unpack cans of fish

The bags in neat rows and columns,with signs for ease of counting

Not much room left in the school hall

Nathan and Jesse on the boat to Prey Veng

The flooding (can you see the tin roof on the right? remember these are houses on stilts!)

Unloading the Boat

Families leaving after receiving food parcels.

Please pray that the families affected by the flooding do receive the aid they need to survive, that they may have been touched by the love of Jesus and that Nathan will take away life changing memories from the distribution day that urge him on in his walk with Christ for years to come.

Fiona

Random Thoughts

Life at the moment is a jumble.
Thus a good time to stop and reflect.

Firstly a thank you for each of you who support us and our work here in Cambodia. It is a blessing to receive prayer support, financial support, emails, fb messages and even visitors! We continue to see God at work around us, in the lives of the children at Hope School, in the lives of the Cambodian people with whom we work and interact and in the testimonies of workers whom we fellowship with us.
Of late there has been an abundance of testimonies of Cambodian's becoming Christians and asking to be baptised. This has been such a blessing to hear. Oftentimes these conversions include testimonies of spiritual battles and miracles. How tragic that the Cambodian people call upon their dead ancestors spirits to give them good fortune in the future and when they experience demonic oppression as a result, assume that they must call harder upon their ancestors for blessing. I have seen demons for myself a couple of times while ministering in the past and can only imagine how frightening it must be for those who interact with them often. Stop for a moment and consider yourself as a vital part of the network of people who all interact as part of the body of Christ such that day by day Cambodian people are set free from spiritual oppression and are won for the Kingdom!

Visitors from Australia.
Jedda and Michael, students we had taught at Nowra Anglican College, came for a visit. It was fabulous to see them, now 19years old, lovely mature Christians keen for chat upon chat about God's work in Cambodia, them, us and so forth. They had only planned to stay for a couple of days, but in the end, well I think it was 2 and a half weeks. I must admit I absolutely relished playing some sort of Aunty /Sister in Christ role and sharing with them in depth about my walk with God and hearing about theirs too.

My Journey
My health continues to improve week by week. I am not quite the old 'me' but do pray for continued improvement. I may have mentioned that I initially found it hard to pray for myself. This was partially because that is just the way that it is and partly because I was not 'with it' enough to even spend time in prayer. Last week though I did manage to enjoy some great time with the Lord, praising, repenting, forgiving and reflecting. I ended the week feeling most refreshed. Saturday though was a challenge and I spent most of the day discouraged and in pain in bed, sleeping right through dinner. I continue to have problems with head, neck and back aches as well as upper abdomen pain. These do not seem to be abating.

Fred my laptop RIP.
Fred my laptop has died. (This has contributed to the length of time before this blog update.) We called the laptop Fred because we choose not to refer to electronic devices as we enter and leave the house so that the neighbours do not hear about the devices we own. As we leave the house we would say, "Is Fred coming today?" meaning, "has someone got the laptop?". The camera too, has a name, for the same reason... it is Gerald. Theft is a common problem in Cambodia. It wouldn't stop one from coming, it just makes you all the more careful while you are here. Fred was a 'beefy' laptop because it is the machine that I edited photos and movies on for school and various organisations I volunteer with for photography projects. Thus he will be difficult to replace. It appears however that laptops are a little cheaper here than in Australia, even with the exchange rate. Unfortunately the model numbers do not correspond between different countries, but you know me, I can understand the specifications so comparisons are possible.

Nathan's Birthday
Nathan has just turned 13. He enjoyed having three friends over for the evening. Nathan is at the age where he desires more and more responsibility but cannot manage it yet. Items like shoes still go AWOL.... including a pair of mine that he borrowed because he had lost his. He is turning into a lovely young man, very sporty, very chatty and yet still sensitive enough to care about, and pray for, the poor around us.

Sokkourn and Savin
Sokkourn and her husband Savin were both baptised yesterday. Our family went along to their Church (which Marion runs at the Cambodian Harvest Dried Fruit Company). We got to meet their three little girls, who of course were so cute, (as you can see in the photo of our two families above).It is a blessing to see them together as a family and to encourage them in their walk in God. The service was held in Khmer and translated into English so we were able to follow all that went on including hearing testimonies of prophetic dreams and miraculous healings.

Well that is enough rambling from my brain today. I am sure I have missed lots of things I should have said. but a jumble is all I can manage today. I do hope to update you again a bit quicker than it has taken this time.
Please pray for my ongoing health, for employment for us during the period that we return to Australia (at least Jan - July 2012) our future work here in Cambodia, (assuming our application to return is approved), for the Cambodian Spiritual Harvest and more workers to support/enter the Harvest Field.

Blessings
Fiona

Help Paradox and Introducing Sokkourn

What if?
What if I had not become ill. How would my life have progressed differently? 
Oh yes there is the obvious... I would be at work not at home. I wouldn't have had an exhaustive amount spent on my health care (thankfully we have health insurance who picked up most of the tab). I would be less fatigued, have less pain and be less dizzy and maybe have been able to concentrate on Jesus for longer consecutive moments than this illness has allowed! Gray would have not gone through a mountain of stress and scared concern. The kids would have not had to think their mother was losing it..and they would have had much more interest shown in their homework and general well being from me.

Last Friday I realized the answer to the "What If I had not become ill?" question, lay however not in how my life would have progressed differently, but in the lives of a poor Khmer family whom, at the point of falling ill, we had never even met. I can see now that through all of this God has worked out his purposes for a family who had been praying for breakthrough for two years! thus the Help Paradox...read on..

When I fell ill we decided to hire some house help to enable the family to get through the workload associated with an ill wife/mother and the subsequent cleaning, shopping and cooking efforts left unattended. ( Not because we are rich by any means, house-help is not an expensive service to consider in Cambodia) Oh yes the family could have pulled together to pitch in. However we could see the stress the unknown illness was having on the family was really wearing all of us down. We were quite snappy at each other..yep there were some pretty horrible family dynamics happening. And bargaining in Khmer is not one of Graham's forte's.

Introducing Sokkourn.
Sokkourn is a lovely Khmer Christian lady who was introduced to us by Marion Fromm(Cambodian Harvest Dried Fruit Company). Sokkourn is married to Savin and they have three young daughters aged 8, 6 and 3. They have spent most of their married life living in a provincial village. Two years ago Savin was promoted in his employment with Cambodia Trust to a position in Phnom Penh. This required him to move to Phnom Penh. However, although promoted, he did not receive enough income for the family to move with him to Phnom Penh (all too common a problem in Cambodia). Sokkourn's family have been living apart for two years. They have been praying for the past two years that one day the family income would improve and the family could be reunited.

Marion knew of Savin through his work with Cambodia Trust since Marion employs the land mine disabled, and Savin assists with fitting of prosthetics. Marion suggested that we hire Sokkourn and thus not only have the benefit of house help, but more significantly bring about change for her family. With our employment of Sokkourn her family are now reunited!

Sokkourn is a very capable Khmer cook, but did not know how to cook western foods, so we decided to to enrol her in a cooking course run by Yejj (an NGO started by Hope School parents many years ago). For one month Sokkourn heads to the Yejj training school in the mornings and then to our place in the afternoons. She will receive a certificate when this is complete, which she we be able to show other prospective employers in the future (as well as a reference from our family). On the days when I am up to it I will also teach Sokkourn how to cook some affordable western dishes to widen her repertoire. My Mum's Texas Sheet Chocolate Cake was our creation today (as I hope to catch up with the Early Learning Centre Hope staff tomorrow for the first time since returning to Cambodia from Bangkok). Meanwhile zucchini slice is next on the list as the ingredients are cheap and easy to access. Sokkourn now has an amazing start to a reunited family life in Phnom Penh and a future as a worker in western family kitchens.

Please pray for Sokkourn and her family. The road ahead for Sokkourn is literally a long one as the family live out past the airport. Savin bought Sokkourn a push bike ( think fabulous road bike with Shimano gears and disks brakes... and then erase that thought and think second hand castoff with basket on the front.) It takes Sokkourn between one and a half and two hours to cycle to our place each day and the same length of time to cycle home to their one room dwelling. Yes I said one room dwelling, probably one in a long run of one room dwellings side by side. While they have electricity for lighting they cannot afford to use it for cooking. They cannot even afford a gas stove for cooking and so use a charcoal stove. They do not have a fridge but use an esky, they wash all their clothes by hand as they do not have a washing machine.You get the picture.

So the Help Paradox, in seeking help for our own situation God has worked out his purposes in reuniting a lovely Christian Khmer family. It was so lovely to hear Nathan pray around the dining table thanking God that this family are together again.

Thankfully too, I have been able to write a blog post again that does not soley focus on myself and my ongoing health concerns...yeh!

I do look forward to continued healing, spending time learning from the Lord, teaching Sokkourn some more affordable western dishes and a return to work in the not too distant future.

Blessings
Fiona Brown

Fiona's Health - back in Cambodia at last.

Well it has been five and a half weeks of acute illness. Two months of alerting symptoms and in hindsight, eight months since the first few seemingly unrelated sporadic chronic symptoms appeared.

However after four weeks off and on in Bangkok Hospitals, (and countless people's prayers), I am now finally back home with my family in Cambodia and ready for the next part of the recovery phase. At this point in time the different specialists agree that I have Fibromylagia.

(Though as with so many chronic illnesses, this could be reviewed in time to actually be CFS or other chronic condition). Also it was found that I have a bicupsid aortic heart valve and I tested positive for syncope - heart related

You may desire to rush away and google Fibromylagia, however it really does seem to be such a varied condition in it's symptoms and severity that you may just as easily be misled as informed.

So here is what it means to me:

1. Persistent pain at multiple points in the body. The worst areas being head and torso pains which do not go away, rather simply changing in how widespread and how severe they are.
2. Daily fatigue, with sporadic (and reducing) episodes of disequilibrium, visual disturbances, cognitive slowness, blank moments "not there for a second" and muscle twitching,
3. Acute episodes (often post physical or mental exertion or when tired) which include exacerbation of existing symptoms with the addition of nausea, chest tightness, extreme muscle weakness, cognitive impairment (memory, processing, concentration etc), burning, tingling and/or numb limb sensations, light headedness, pale, shaking and fainting.

The neurologist has prescribed some medication to address the pain, disequilibrium and nerve symptoms. These in addition to lots of rest appear to have improved my condition and the lengthy acute phase that sent me to hospital has been curbed. Although acute episodes do flair up easily upon exertion or tiredness.

So at this point in time I need to continue to rest and recover. Some days are bad days and some days are not so bad days, more and more thankfully however, I have on occasion what I can call "good" days. But it is not predictable. I may be able to go out for a couple of hours one afternoon, appear to interact quite normally with people and be just especially tired for the evening, but I may just as easily be wiped out by the activity and experience a painfully acute episode for the next 24 hours.

For the moment prolonged, standing, walking and stairs are particularly difficult, so you can imagine immigration queues at airports! Hence Graham once again organised a wheelchair service, which is the like the most understated service airports offer! A porter is assigned to you and facilitates every step of the process. You should have seen the awesome vehicle that they used at Bangkok airport to get wheelchairs to the plane! First they wheel you onto a

hydraulic tail gate that lifts you into the back of a huge van. (There was two of us in wheelchairs for this flight) Then they drive over to the plane. The whole vehicle chassis then rises on a scissor lift system until you are in line with the cabin door and they wheel you right out over the front of the van onto the plane!

Anyway, the prognosis is that the good days will start to become more normal and that I will be able to return to working productively. I will however need to manage my workload and associated stress levels more carefully then ever before. It will not take as much stress to manifest symptoms and the severity of the acute episodes could be debilitating.

Thankfully Cambodia is where we believe God has called us to be at this point in time and life here is fairly simple. We have a peace about being here and find the work very rewarding. I am looking forward to teaching mathematics again at Hope School and am happy to hear that there are a few keen students awaiting my return too.

So thank you to all those who have prayed, assisted my family, asked after us, covered my classes and been a blessing in many other ways.

I look forward to being able to adding future blog posts that do not revolve around me!

Blessings

Fiona Brown

Fiona's Health - Progress

Hi there,

Here is an update on Fiona's Health. As you may have read in the previous post, Fiona has been very unwell and went to Sumitivej Hospital in Bangkok and back to Cambodia. Two weeks later, with a deterioration of her condition, we returned to Bangkok, this time to Bumrungrad Hosptial. There were a myriad more neurological and cardiology evaluations. The Doctors have ruled out anything serious (amazing what that does for ones sleep!). Today, a week from entry hospital, the doctors are still not yet sure what the exact problem is.

Fiona's strength has improved since she came to hospital. But she is still weak and fatigues quickly. The symptoms that commenced 6 or so weeks ago are still prevalent, blank moments, vagueness, fatigue, dizziness and a chronic headache. There were a myriad of other symptoms that surfaced in the last month, but these have largely ceased under the doctor's care. As her strength improves she has been doing small amounts of exercise.

Some of the possibilities are not so nice to consider, but have needed to be evaluated because of both the cognitive and physical impairment Fiona is experiencing. Anything from Dementia to Fibromyalgia to Chronic Fatigue. The test for Dementia was important to diagnose if her condition was something she would have full cognitive recovery from. This appears to be the case, while she is slow, forgetful and not always aware of what is going on in her non immediate surroundings, these symptoms will reverse with time.

Fiona had a setback on Wednesday when she collapsed in the room after returning from a short walk. However the doctors, who have prescribed some medication based on her symptoms, have adjusted these. Fiona will need to be stable without the blank moments and dizziness before she is released. We hope that this will be at least early next week.

Fiona will then still require some time to restore physically. As exertion exacerbates the problems and she becomes unsteady. Further the symptoms related to cognitive function, her

short term memory, absent mindedness, awareness of activity in her surroundings, lack of concentration when holding conversations for any length of time and doing computation may take even longer to recover.

Fiona has had two unrelated tests while in hospital for potential concerns and awaits the result of a skin biopsy and a colon biopsy.

Still Fiona's spirits are high, she attempts short walks and now feels she can concentrate enough for prayer journaling and reading small articles in the Digital Camera magazine which she blew the budget buying (lol) as we came through Phnom Penh airport.

Thank you for your paitence. While the Hospital has wifi, our room is the last in the hall and from Fiona's bed the signal is not strong enough for her to maintain a reliable signal. Nor has there been much to add from day to day, it is indeed a slow process.

Thank you for your prayers. Fiona looks forward to recovering and easing back into life in Cambodia sometime soon.

Blessings

Graham and Fiona Brown

Fiona's health, a call for prayer

Hi all,

Well this particular post is to advise you that I am unwell and to ask you to pray for our family.

In July I started to have micro blank moments... okay I don't know if there is a real name for it.. Just a sensation that i was "not there" for a moment. They are so fast that I do not lose consciousness. So I contacted my doctor, though by the time I met with her I was weak, headachy and vague.

So I went to Hospital for a Neurological / Cardiological evaluation etc. It was not the most productive visit. We did find some heart issues which were not the cause. (Bicuspid Aorta Heart Valve, Syncope - Heart Related) Thankfully the brain MRI and 30 min EEG were clear. We were sent home with some medicine. My health back here did not improve, rather it deteriorated further, but we didn't know if these new symptoms were medicinal side effects or due to a yet undiagnosed cause. Believe me, there were some pretty freaky side effects. So we consulted our doctor here and she took me off the medicine. The freaky side effects have now gone, thankfully. But the weakness, pain, nausea, blank moments and a myriad of other sytmptoms have emerged or worsened.

So now, 11 days after leaving hospital, we are waiting for a new referral to return to hospital.

Now, I didn't mention that I have to leave the country to get access to appropriate medical facilities. We go to Bangkok, Thailand, so yep more passport stamps.

This whole process has been incredibly stressful on the family. The unknown of what ails me, whether it is serious or not is a concern that has seen both Gray and I employ some pretty pathetic coping strategies at times. We seriously thought about flying me back to Australia. However we live and work in Cambodia, there are excellent facilities in Bangkok and I would rather walk through this with Graham than without him. Flying our family back was not an option. As I posted on fb, I feel like I am running a race that I can't put out of, even though I am spending most of the time lying down.

We know though that God is not up there saying to himself "Oh dang! Fiona is sick, I didn't plan on that, what shall I do?" So we can but look forward to the purpose that he is working out through this, whatever the cost.

Your prayers would be appreciated. I hope to update the blog once we have some news.

Blessings

Fiona

looking for small pairs of shoes

"look for small pairs of shoes" John Turner said, as we walked through the slum to find and invite children to hear about Jesus. We were wandering through the narrow, rubbish strewn, dirt paths, glancing at the cramped meagre dwellings of the people who call the Steung Meanchey (SMC) dump slums their home. Spotting small sets of shoes at the entrance of many homes indicated that small children lived in the home and was our cue to stop and chat with the adults therein, inviting the children to come to join in the morning program.

The Elim team (comprising of primarily Cambodian Christians) have been heading to villages in SMC for 4 1/2 years. They sing, play games, teach the children about Jesus, do coloring in and give them some fruit.

A number of the adults in the villages have responded to the message of Jesus. There is even a church in one of the villages which Elim supports with this work. While the morning program is aimed at children, adults in the background linger and hear the gospel message too. Some adults also visit the Elim Centre itself. The Centre runs numerous programs such as English and computer classes, a childcare centre and church services.

While the village morning program is underway Anne Turner visits the various village families to determine what medical needs there are to be addressed. A medical team from another organisation visit with Anne on Sunday evenings to provide medical services. Anne takes those in need to Hospital when required.

I relished the opportunity to be part of the team heading to the village recently. Though as a westerner there is little hands on work that I am able to do. Predominantly the work in the Village is conducted by the Khmer on the team. It is a blessing to see Khmer Christians trained to reach the Khmer people and to hear their testimonies as we travel by tuk tuk to the villages and back.

Please pray for wisdom within the many ministries in Cambodia. There are a myriad of aspects each mission team must consider in deciding what is and isn't appropriate in working with the Cambodian people. What work to undertake, who with, who by (Westerners or Cambodians) how far to take programs, how to introduce the gospel, how to respect Cambodian Culture, whether to allow photography of people in the programs, when to step back and hand projects over to the people. etc etc

For me, I am advised of various policies when I volunteer with an organisation and I stick with the policy for each group. For example, in relation to photography, Elim let me take photos and put them on my blog. I have photographed for two other organisations who do not allow me to share images. Each to their own. I understand the reasoning behind each decision and respect them. Of course you will just have to believe me when I tell you that I have taken some "like-so-so awesome photos" while here in Cambodia and then not show them to you!

The Flicks

Little did we know that there is actually a picture theatre in Phnom Penh that shows movies in English. In fact it has been here as long as we have!

Now before you get all excited and think that Cambodia has progressed to have all the mod cons of the West I must not only remind you that we still do not have McDonalds...lol

The Flicks movie house (http://www.theflicks-cambodia.com/) is certainly no Hoyts, Imax, Ritz or Nowra's Roxy. It is actually a room inside a guesthouse. Albeit a large dark and air conned room. The screen is 6 metres wide and the movies are projected via a computer and projector. The seating is plush though, ratan furniture at the back and cushions on the floor at the front. The room holds 28 people at once!

Of course we ordered popcorn to make the experience more authentic. Once the movie starts the host gets to making the popcorn in his kitchen and then sneaks into the room and passes out plastic bowls of hot buttered popcorn to those who ordered it.

I do hope to go again one day although at $10 for the whole family, $2.50 for popcorn plus $4 for transport not one we can indulge in too often. Yeh I know that might not sound like much, but it's all relative, life has different priorities here. We are used to creating our own entertainment, so paying for it seems a bit rich.

But boy it was a fun experience I felt like such a big kid!

Praise God for the small things in life that make living in a different culture seem more "normal" from time to time.

Love Fiona

Soeurn's Dream and Healing

In our house church is a lovely older Australian lady called Marion. Marion is like a mother to Graham and I and a grandmother to our children. For while we are away from Australia, from my own very special mother and father, Marion provides the home cooking and wisdom of a parent.

Marion started the Cambodian Harvest Dried Fruit Company and employs land mine victims. http://www.reversethecurse-cambodia.com/ Marion disciples her workers, leading bible studies and running a church. Her heart for the Lord is an inspiration to me. Marion witnesses God's miraculous work amongst her staff regularly and shares on occasion testimonies of His work in their lives.

Last week Marion shared the Testimony of Soeurn. I have included his testimony below as shared to me from Marion via email. His testimony is but a small testament to the amazing work that God is doing amongst his people here.

I pray that you too are encouraged as you read, not only by the testimony of Soeurn, but by the example of the Lords' servant, Marion.

" Soeurn has been working for us for four years and is a land mine survivor. He has always had a problem trusting God with money matters, although he is doing much better financially than most of the others. Since he became a Christian his farm & cattle have thrived, be has built himself a proper wooden house for his family & bought a new motorbike a couple of years ago. We featured him in a documentary a few years ago as one of the most improved family situations among our survivors. However he was always moaning about not having enough money.

On April 10^th, when he was hit in the index finger as a passenger on a staff moto, returning from the baptism we held at the farm, he was taken to the Russian Hospital where the treatment was shocking. They told him if the finger went black in 3 days they would amputate it. The finger was put in a bamboo half splint & the lacerations were not stitched. He was sent home with IV antibiotics for another clinic to dispense at home in the province over the 6 day public holiday. When he returned he was in great pain & his finger was badly infected & he had let out the puss himself with a needle. We took him to a proper hospital & the bone was not even straight & set, but still overlapping at the break.

The negotiations for compensation for the injury with the banana seller resulted in only $60 compensation. He was inclined to have the finger amputated & not spend the $280 for the surgery to set the bone with a metal rod to keep it stable & stitch up the lacerations. However, after prayer he agreed to have it done.

When the finger healed enough & it was clear that he would have full use of it eventually & a skin graft was recommended. This was to cost $480. He was so worried about how to pay for that & his wife still wanted an amputation so he could come back to work quickly & not lose any wages. We gave him 2 weeks holiday pay & a week sick leave & then put him on gate duty so that he could work as security & open & shut the gate, & so keep working.

On the night before the skin graft surgery he had a dream. Jesus appeared to him & walked him through a hospital where people assured him his finger would be perfectly healed. Jesus promised that it would not cost him anything because he could trust Jesus to supply everything he needed. On the following morning, another patient sat next to him as he was waiting & encouraged him not to worry about the money & trust God, as that man was a Christian too. Next a nurse told him the same, just to relax and trust God as Jesus had promised him to never leave him. After the surgery, when he met with the doctor, the doctor told him he was a Christian & he would give him the operation for free! Soeurn walked out no owing anything! He is overwhelmed with the love & blessing of God.

It took all this to teach Soeurn how to trust God for finances, so he can see that God can turn every bad situation into good. He is well on the way to recovery, with full use of his finger."

Decision Time, Cambodia or Australia?

I must admit that April in particular was both a difficult and yet blessed month for us.

Graham was away in Australia at university for a time. The trip was an expensive and difficult one. Graham's luggage did not arrive in Australia until the end of his visit, his university course was heavy and his job interview did not result in employment for July onwards. We were left unsure of where God wanted us for the later half of this year and both facing unemployment from the end of June.

Lord where do you desire us to serve you? was our heartfelt cry, for we believed that God had for some months been clearly saying to return to Australia.

You see, our contract with Hope school was to finish in June 2011 and we needed to discern whether God was calling us to stay here in Cambodia or return to Australia. Hope School had requested a decision by Christmas. In early December, after months of uncertainty and prayer about God's will for us for the end of our contract, we shared our situation with our church and they prayed over us for clarity. Within hours Graham received an invitation from a school in NSW to apply for a teaching position that may arise, and if so, the employment would commence in July 2011. So followed a sequence of events that appeared to confirm this to us that we would return to Australia. But this was not to be.

Upon Graham arriving back in Cambodia we met within 24hours with Hope School and discussed further employment here. We were aware that the school had been advertising and interviewing for some months for teaching positions for the new school year in August 2011.

Unbeknown to us, there were still two High School positions to fill, that of a science teacher and a maths teacher. Here we were suggesting that, to further our professional experience Graham would like more science teaching and that I would like to teach across more year groups of maths. What a blessing!

Thus we remain employed by Hope school, an amazing school like none we have been involved with before. The kids were so very excited that we are staying in Cambodia and we too are happy to be continuing in our work and ministry in Cambodia. We have signed up for another 6 months and plan to return either permanently or at least for a short time, to Australia at Christmas as we are eligible for furlough from Hope School. (Please pray the God will provide clarification in this decision.)

While Graham was in Australia I took Naomi, Nathan and Tevy to the coast, to the spot where the children were baptised only a few weeks before.

Tevy works at Hope school and is 10 years Naomi's senior, but the two act like inseparable sisters when they are together. We have taken Tevy on holidays with us three times now and she fit's in just like a member of our family.

Towards the end of April God spoke clearly to me about being patient about the future. I have had a number of dreams, including one last night, about what will come to pass. But for now these words dwell in my heart and prayer diary and wait for His blessed fulfillment without urgency.

Simple really

In many respects life here is very simple. Many of us liken it to a camping trip, a very extended camping trip. That is because when we headed to Cambodia, we, like so many before us, bought only our standard air ticket luggage allowance. You can't fit a lot in the car when you go camping, and you can't fit a lot in your luggage when you move overseas.

Many of you would think of life here as limited rather than simple. True there is not a lot to do, no great parks to run around in, or picture theater, or nearby beach or mountain or sports field. There is plenty of noise and smells and dust though. But the definition simple, will do fine for me.

We own very little and yet even that we do have far outstrips most of our neighbours. We do have have a gas hotplate, a small oven, a fridge, a water cooler, a toaster, hand held electric beater, an iron and a washing machine. We don't have a microwave, coffee machine, dishwasher, set of kitchen scales, rice cooker, crock pot, sandwich toaster, waffle maker, blender, coffee grinder and whatever else exists in kitchens that I have forgotten.

Just this week I was reminded of how much we do have. I opened the front door (metal gate) to find a woman selling breakfast a couple of metres across on our paved frontage. Like many others she carries food balanced on the ends of a long pole that she places on her shoulder. It must be quite heavy, because the poles bend a great deal and often these sellers stagger more than so than walk. I can so easily imagine the house in which she would have prepared this meal.

Recently too I reflected upon Nathan's bedroom. When you look at Nathan's room you would think it was a guest room. He has a bed, a fan, a clock and a wardrobe. Nathan does own a couple of electronic items, but they fit amongst his meager belongings in his wardrobe. It is not that he is desperately poor, just incredibly frugal!

Nathan though counts himself as comfortable. Recently I visited the Aji (recylcing family) whom I have featured in my blogs before. The whole family lives in a slanted wooden shack about the same size as Nathan's bedroom. When you step inside the floor is dirt. There is a broad timber ledge taking up most of the room and on this they sleep and live together. The raised portion is necessary because in the rainy season the floor would flood.

The portion of the floor that is not covered by the raised ledge is less than a metre wide and a few metres long. This hosts a small camp stove and drink esky, a pan and a few utensils and plates. The family do not have glass windows, matresses, cupboards, appliances or their own bathroom. There only furniture is a few old blue plastic chairs.

I was shocked to see the conditions in which they lived. Now I understand so much better why the children's are so unclean when they visit. Why the mother washes them under our front tap on occasion. I confess that I wrongly considered that maybe she brought them around here shabby so that we would feel more sorry for them! How naive I was!

There have been so many challenging things occur in the last month, which I shall share with you soon. But for now I will just let myself delight in the simplest of things which bring me such joy. Why even this week, the one fitted sheet that we own for our bed finally wore out and tore. I brought a brand new bright blue fitted sheet and excitedly washed it and put it on our bed. I snuggled that night on the fresh cotton and boy oh boy did I feel special!

Yet I know that it is not who I am or what I own that is important, but Whose I am. I am God's child, made in His image and He has provided me with abundant blessings beyond material measure. I pray that "my" little aji family will come to realise too, their own identity in Christ and the abundant blessings He desires to pour out upon them too.

Fiona

Church Retreat and Baptisms

A few weekends ago our house church went on a retreat together to Kampong Saom (Sihanoukville). It was our first retreat with the house church, and our first trip to the beach here, so we were very excited.

The purpose behind the retreat stemmed from the desire of some of our church family to be baptised. I knew that a couple of the adults desired to be baptised and a couple of the older children.

We had discussed baptism with Naomi and Nathan on a couple of occasions while here in Cambodia. In our first two years, while at Elim church, a number of people were baptised, however Naomi and Nathan did not take that step. Recently however we had discussed baptism around the dining table a growing number of times. But left the decision to them of when they would be ready to make the public confession.

Sitting around the table at the beach Dale (the pastor) spoke about the act of baptism. It was one of the more profound declarations I had heard. He then asked who would like to be baptised. Naomi and Nathan indicated that they would like to join those being baptised.

After my own initial hesitation inwardly that perhaps Naomi and Nathan were choosing to do so because some others were making this step, I sat and listened to them share their testimony and desire to be baptised. There words were honest and clear. I was so pleased and excited for them.

We shared some thoughts as a group and then headed to the water.

I was thankful to have my camera handy. And thankful that I managed to shoot off a series of shots. There is nothing quite like being at your own children's baptism.

Did Nathan and Naomi "feel" any different afterwards? No they did not. But both have noticeably changed spiritually through the experience. As if a stronghold was lifted both have made significant steps in personal behaviour, self control and desire to grow in Christ.

We do not know how long we will be in Cambodia for, how many more memories we will make here, but this is such a blessed one to take away with each of us.

Please pray for Naomi and Nathan as we disciple them and guide them to grasp all that God has for them step by step as they grow in Christ.

Blessings

Fiona

Contemplation

I am sure I have wondered out aloud here before my inability to fathom how it can be 2011 and there still be so much poverty, pain and lost people in the world.

Being a missionary teacher we are in some regards, one step removed from the bulk of the coal face, but we do get powdered in soot from time to time. Missionaries are not "in your face" type people raving about what their latest programs are. (Nor thankfully do I find missionaries slanderous or gossipers, you don't hear "well no wonder they are with that mission organization!") Basically I have found it best to sit down with a missionary purposefully and ask them about their work. At other times I have opportunities for coal face outreach through school or church and I so relish these opportunities.

Oh if only I truly had the Lords heart of compassion to see the pain right before me. I do know He is increasingly giving me his heart for hurting people. But there is so much hurt and so much pain and so much injustice and so much corruption and so much death and...

• The baby who has swollen feet, living in a remote village, the village doctor decided it is best to cut the babies feet off!
• The 11 year old girl raped by a person she knew, now a mother at 12.
• The child sold as a slave to a family, only to be abused and then rescued and now fostered in a Cambodian family.
• The boy rescued as an infant from selling products on the streets and at traffic lights so that his brothers' glue sniffing addiction could be supported.
• The boy who comes to my door for recycling so his family can buy rice to eat. I had the blessing of visiting his house - a small slanted rough timber shack with a single raised timber platform so that in the wet season they stay dry sleeping side by side on this multipurpose hard space. No bathroom, a gas stove and small drink esky the makings of their kitchen space.
• The Khmer girl whose father was euthanaised by family members who could not afford to keep contributing to his hospital bill.
• The man who broke his finger and the doctors gave him panadol and said come back in three days if it turns black and we will have to amputate it.

Yesterday the ABC news in Australia told of the shocking news of a Melbourne girl pregnant at 12.

The Victorian Government has ordered an investigation after it was revealed a 12-year-old girl became pregnant, reportedly while in state care.

Minister for Community Services Mary Wooldridge says the girl is now 13 and the baby was born a couple of weeks ago.

The case is again fuelling concern about child protection systems in Australia, with one child welfare advocate saying it highlights concerns about a lack of funding for child protection.

Ms Wooldridge says she is reviewing the girl's contact with the Government and the community services sector.

"I think it's very unusual for a young mum at 13 to be having a child. It is very disturbing and very concerning," she said.

Oh why is abuse, sex crimes, injustice, poverty, corruption and pain so "usual" in Cambodia.

I know I only see the tiniest tip of the iceberg lurking in the dark recesses of this country. I know so many missionaries serving here so faithfully "snatching people from the flames of the evil one".
There is this quiet acceptance that you can only do what you can do and pray for more harvesters in the harvest field and pray for God's spirit to sweep this nation.
I cannot run out like some superhero and fix all the problems, noone can. It is such a lesson in not working in your own strength!
But I increasingly appreciate that I have a vital part in the body of Christ here. I teach the children of the men and women who have devoted their lives to serving the people of Cambodia, to the family of the baby with swollen feet, the 12 year old with a baby, the child rescued from slavery, the recycling family. And while I teach the missionary children the parents are freed to serve in the manner they have been called.

Yes, it is hot and dusty and noisy and smelly and busy and materially simple and even at times lonely. I miss my mum and dad and family and friends and tall trees and mountains and beaches and camping and Australian food. Yet the incredible peace and growth found being in the centre of God's Will is surreal, it's not natural it is beyond natural and could certainly never be called "hum drum"!

I don't truly know what the next 6 months let alone 6 years hold for our family. God may take us back to Australia for a season and a reason, He may take us back to a mission field, He may move us in the longer term vision He gave us over 20 years ago to actively support those in ministry and mission through our home, He may take us home to be with Him in heaven. Whatever He chooses, He will give us the strength and provision to undertake His work.

I hope this article has not been in vain, that even through these contemplative thoughts God would pour into your heart and mine more of His love and compassion, and a greater sense of peace in His purpose. Should we return to Australia long term I pray that my love for the Lord does not grow cold through distraction and I ask you to gently rebuke me if you see me/us becoming sidetracked.

Blessings,
Fiona

20th Wedding Anniversary

The 2nd March 2011 was our 20th Wedding Anniversary.

To celebrate we headed to Malaysia and enjoyed a few childless days relaxing in a flash hotel.

It was such a treat to stay somewhere with modern conveniences that either do not have, or cannot afford to use at will, in Cambodia, for example the room hosted a bath, hot running water, air conditioning, a flat screen television and a coffee machine.

The hotel itself had a lovely pool, Live Jazz music and an amazing array of wildlife.

We enjoyed some outdoor activities while we were away. A dive trip and a kayak trip. Oh so nice to be in the outdoors!

The hotel brought an anniversary cake to our room. (This is a dinner size plate) We enjoyed it together each night with some wine and coffee.

One of my favourite things from our time away was seeing the Colugo (Flying Lemur - which is not actually a Lemur). Here is a picture I took of one asleep. They are nocturnal and live solely in trees. They move from tree to tree by gliding between them. To sit and eat dinner with these delightful primates gliding between trees here and there was absolutely fantastic.

Hope Sports Carnival

As I mentioned in my last post, this week was sports week at HOPE.

Each day we had various dress up themes and games in the mornings. On Friday we had the sports carnival. Our school does not have an oval to hold it, so we went to NISC (Northbridge International School). Naomi and Nathan competed in pretty well everything they could. Naomi won most of her events and Nathan received a place in most of his events too.

The carnival started at 7:30am to beat the heat, and finished at 12pm. It was a great day, the house spirit was high with cheering and house chants. I just love the way the School Community gets into supporting each other.

Graham and I did not run in the staff relay - neither of us have spines or knees that can pound like that anymore. But Graham and I did take the opportunity to put the shot when the year 8 through 10 girls were having their turns. Naomi won the year 9 girls event and I am happy to stay I can still put the shot a very impressive distance, one easily comparable with Graham's effort. ( I always represented my school in shot put when I was a student).

One of the highlights for me of the sports carnival is having the home school families come and join in the events. It is a great opportunity for some of the mission families in wider Cambodia to mingle with the school community. Some would have traveled the better part of a day, to come and join us!

Twin Day at HOPE

It was twin day at school yesterday....all part of the hype for the sports week aka HOPE Olympics leading up to the Sports Carnival on Friday.

Most of our students got involved in the dress up, as did the staff. As you can see Graham and I came dressed the same.

One of the awesome things about being at HOPE is the school spirit shared by all. Everyone gets in on the action and has fun doing the silliest activities.

Here is Naomi with a friend and below that, two other boys from her class who came as twins too.

Please pray that as the school continues to grow, that the HOPE spirit will continue to grow with it!

Blessings

Fiona

Seeing Chjantee again

Back in October 2009 I posted an article about Baby Chjantee.

"She was born with a hair lip and double cleft pallet. She was a small baby and her mother was unable to breastfeed her. At 5 days old she was in hospital and in a coma for two days, not expected to survive. Babies like Chjantee would normally die."

We now go to a house church so I had not seen Chjantee for many months, happily though I bumped into Anne Turner and Chjantee recently in the supermarket. Wow has she grown into a beautiful little girl! I was very excited to see her. Chjantee has now been formally adopted by her nanny and continues to thrive.

Chjantee and the countless other children I meet; who would not have survived without the aid of tireless workers supporting and empowering Khmer communities, really bring a blessing to my heart and strong sense of purpose here in Cambodia.

Unfortunately, for each happy little child like Chjantee there are still so many who do not survive, who live in poverty or are slaves to viscous cycles of abuse.

Please pray for workers to enter the harvest-field that is Cambodia.

Fiona

Warning Graphic Content

As I mentioned previously, I went to visit the Khmer Soviet Friendship hospital to hand out food and water to survivors of the water festival tragedy. We were shown around for part of the time by a lovely Nurse called Tharvy Ho, who works with Operation Smile.

(http://cambodia.operationsmile.org ) Tharvy's work includes caring for the poorest of the poor, including those who cannot afford care at all. She was so dedicated to her work, very much an inspiration. As we went from room to room we handed out supplies to patients who were not part of the water festival tragedy as well as those who were.

Pictured is Rhatdjan (I don't know how to spell his name). Rhatdjan was in an accident 2 months before this picture was taken. He has been in hospital ever since. His family cannot afford the skin grafts he needs. Imagine what his body looks like under the bandages, ( raw meat- sorry but that's what his thighs looked like!)Seeing this boy was an incredible shock. Standing in this incredibly hot, run down and cramped room, observing his injuries, meeting his family. What an eye opener to the needs for what we would consider "basic health care" for the average Khmer family.

There is so much work still to be done in this amazing country, in the world, and this was a small but profound glimpse of it.

Please pray for harvesters to go into the harvest field, to heal the sick, drive out demons and proclaim the good news to the poor. For people to be infected with the Compassion of Christ basically!

Blessings

Fiona